Until…

I heard a loud crash – more like a loud THUD – from the living room, followed by my wife’s voice yelling out in what I could only imagine was obvious pain. I sat straight up, threw the covers to the side and ran into the living room at full speed, ready for action. I even grabbed my phone on the way, just in case I needed to call 9-1-1. And I was sure I would need to call 9-1-1. Like a super hero who and just been called into action by the voice of a damsel in distress, I was ready for anything!

But once there, I found the living room dark and empty.

I ran into the kitchen – my head whipping back and forth, scanning every inch of the room like the Terminator on a mission. Again – nothing was even out of place.

I ran down the stairs to the basement – too quickly to be careful not to fall forward in a crazed frenzy, which could have been disastrous for a klutz like me – but when I made it to the bottom, the only thing there was a half-asleep cat looking up at me with those, “WHAT?” eyes.

Back upstairs, I circled the entire house in and out of every possible room, getting more and more scared and panicked the whole time… Nothing… No one. I looked outside in every direction – the back door, the side patio, the front porch, the driveway… Nothing!

At this point, the taste of adrenaline is filling my mouth, and my heart is racing so hard that I am having trouble focusing my eyes through the quivering. I am, for lack of a better phrase, freaking out.

I decide that it is best at this point to slow down and take control of the situation. I run through my head where I have looked, what I heard, and every possible scenario. I take a few deep breaths & choose to go back to the bedroom where, much to my surprise, I see my wife – laying comfortably in the bed, fast asleep, only inches from where I had first bounded into action. She may have even been touching me at the time. It is entirely possible.

Evidently, the sound of the crash followed by her screams… was all just a dream; a dream so vivid that it jarred me out of a sound sleep.

It took me a while to calm down enough to get back to sleep, but I finally did. Informing my wife of how heroic I had been, dashing to her rescue in the face of certain danger, would have to wait until morning.

You know, we often complain about how Christmas has become too commercialized – but have you stopped to consider the other facets of our life that have also fallen into that same trap?

There are two obvious ones this time of year:

The first is retailers giving us all kinds of suggestions on how to spend our income tax refunds. Watch for them – count them – we will be bombarded with advertisements for electronics and cars over the next few months. Some will even give you credit for checks that you haven’t even received yet.

The second is New Year’s Resolutions. We go from holiday candies and pastries to large grocery store displays of diet and health food. The cooking shows will all be focused on lowering calories and fat instead of increasing flavors and richness. Are they trying to help us keep our resolutions or are they capitalizing on them? Probably both – but either way, it happens every year.

At any rate, this year I made a few – I hesitate to call them resolutions – I am not limiting them to being accomplished during 2012 – let’s just say that they are things that I want or need to work on and am hereby committing some time and effort to them, beginning now. I may even add specific goals, milestones, or timelines on a few of them… but don’t count on it. Here’s the list:

Time management and organization:

This is an ongoing struggle with me. Procrastination is one of my big issues. Somehow I can be very organized and methodical with certain things – but at the office or with school work and other commitments, it seems to slip through the cracks. I don’t get it. I need to create some sense of structure so that I can meet deadlines, get things done, and not have to sacrifice time with my family or personal time to do it.

Read more:

Santa gave me a Kindle Fire for Christmas. I geeked out a little because I have really been wanting a tablet but wasn’t willing to blow that much money on an iPad (especially since the next generation will make it obsolete by the time I get it set up the way I like it anyway). But I want to make sure that I use it – not just for games and comic books, but also for what it was actually made for – reading. I love to read – always have, but I really need to read more and have already downloaded a handful of books that I am looking forward to escaping into.

Plus I am looking into some apps that will help me with my time management & organization goals too – so if anyone has any suggestions…

Continued weight loss:

(Cliché – I know.) Last year I set a goal for myself: I decided to lose a specific amount of weight by a given date – 50 pounds by my daughter’s wedding. I not only met that goal – I exceeded it. But since that time, the scales have plateaued. I haven’t really lost or gained any more. So I need to step-up that game. One of the ways I am choosing to do that is by exercising more. Up to this point I have lost weight and inches through careful diet and self-control. Now it’s time to get active! But I will probably need to set myself another goal – especially since it seemed to help last year – otherwise I feel like I will be flying blindly with nothing to work toward.

Spiritual Formation:

Maybe it sounds a bit like a technical seminary term, but I specifically want to concentrate on the area of “Relational Spirituality” which is 3-fold: Loving God Completely, Loving Myself Correctly, and Loving Others Compassionately. I want to take some time to focus on my own spiritual life and how it is expressed through my relationships. I want to live a deeper, more grace-filled life with a heavy emphasis on God’s love – not with empty outward expressions of religion.

The phrase “11 in 11” holds a special meaning for me this year I suppose. 2011 was the year that my St. Louis Cardinals won their 11th world championship. Maybe that’s why I decided to choose 11 songs for the list this year instead of just 10. Unfortunately, even with the additional selection – it’s just not enough. There were just too many really good albums released this year. So keep in mind that there are some omissions simply because there wasn’t enough room, including Fleet Foxes and Yo-Yo Ma.

So, here they are, in no particular order – my top eleven albums released in 2011: (Take your time and click the links to hear some of the songs you aren’t familiar with.)

The Decemberists: The King Is Dead

I didn’t even realize that I enjoyed the Decemberists as much as I do until I bought this album. Colin Meloy and company make awesome, story-telling, American roots-driven music with diverse influences including R.E.M. and Gillian Welch, who both make appearances on the album.

Listen to Calamity Song

Adele: 21

At this point in her career, everyone is familiar with Adele, which typically in my book is not a good thing. The deal is, regardless of everything else, the girl has talent! Her songwriting is top-notch, and that voice… my goodness that voice! It is nice to see a true talent getting recognized in the public’s eyes. Too often that doesn’t happen.

Listen to Rolling in the Deep

Amos Lee: Mission Bell

The line between sweet clean folk music and pure soulful R&B has never been walked so perfectly as it is when it’s done by the incredible Amos Lee. This album is fantastic – definitely one of my most played albums of the year.

Listen to Flower

Raphael Saadiq: Stone Rollin’

This former member of Tony! Toni! Toné! Goes above and beyond with some powerful throwback R&B sounds on this album. Especially after seeing him live on Austin City Limits, I maintain that this guy is an old-school band leader from the same stock as James Brown. Great record!

Listen to Stone Rollin’

Foo Fighters: Wasting Light

We are living in the digital age, right? Then how is it that the year’s best hard rock album was recorded entirely on analog tape in Dave Grohl’s garage? That is either a testament to analog rock & roll, or evidence of just what a good band the Foo Fighters really are.

Listen to Arlandria

Ryan Adams: Ashes & Fire

Thank goodness Ryan’s retirement from music only lasted a few years, because this is one of the strongest albums he has released in a long time. I used to marvel at how prolific he was; writing and recording new music so quickly, but maybe a little time off allowed him to take his time and return to his former “Whiskeytown” greatness.

Listen to Lucky Now

Gillian Welch: The Harrow & the Harvest

Only artists as amazing as Gillian Welch and David Rawlings can make an album that sounds familiar and old-fashioned as well as utterly original all at the same time. This is an album filled with gorgeous, sad, empathetic story songs – wonderfully written and beautifully played.

Listen to The Way It Goes

Wilco: The Whole Love

Exactly what kind of band is Wilco? What kind of music do they typically make? Sometimes it’s hard to tell – and don’t even try to guess what their next album will be like! They have gone from jangly country pop to progressive experimental rock and back again, gaining and losing fans along the way. The Whole Love is a bit of a throwback to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot in my opinion; experimental, a little crazy, a bit noisy, but strong.

Listen to I Might

Iron & Wine: Kiss Each Other Clean

By Sam Beam’s own admission, this is a pop album – a slight departure from the whispered acoustic folk music that made him famous – and one filled with songs that sound like they could’ve been something your parents listened to way back when. And that is a compliment. This is a great album!

Listen to Tree by the River

The Black Keys: El Camino

If I had to pick a favorite album of the year right now – It would probably be El Camino. I thought last year’s Brothers album was a massive breakthrough for this extremely talented blues-rock duo. But, in my opinion, this one blows it away. Catchy riffs, driving rhythms, inspired melodies… El Camino has it all.

Listen to Gold on the Ceiling

R.E.M.: Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Part Garbage 1982–2011

Okay, so I might be including this one primarily for sentimental reasons. (I don’t think my list is the only one that did though.) In September, one of my favorite bands in the world announced that they were breaking up. So this double disk retrospective seems like a nice farewell – succinctly capturing their career in a nice little black & white package… even though it breaks my heart a little.

Listen to We All Go Back to Where We Belong

Yes, it is busy – hectic even. We spend a lot of our time trying to wrap things up that, frankly, should’ve been taken care of before now. Of course there is plenty of shopping, and as a result, putting our patience and resilience to the test with those other shoppers out there that have also waited until the last few weeks to make their purchases. We also have to deal with scheduling conflicts with family, friends and work. It doesn’t seem like we have enough time to squeeze everything that we want or need to do into the span of a few short days. And on top of it all, in the midst of a time of “peace on earth and good will toward men” we are inundated with rudeness, selfishness, and inconsiderateness.

But it can really only be considered “stress”, in my opinion, if we let those things get to us.

And this year, I am making every effort to not let it get to me.

This is a year of changes though – one of transition – and one of extra emotion.

First of all – this is only the second full holiday season we have had without either of my wife’s parents, which kind of leaves a gaping hole in part of our festivities. In fact, her side of the family is basically just her sister, bother-in-law, and niece – at least as far as holidays are concerned. And that’s okay, really – we love them to death! We don’t get to spend as much time with them as we would like, but the time we do get to spend with them is awesome. Unfortunately it kind of makes me feel guilty (and, yes, I know it shouldn’t – so don’t start) that in contrast, my side of the family just keeps getting bigger.

In addition to my parents, Grandma, and a few random aunts or cousins, my brother got married this year – so on top of his three fantastic kids, he also has a new wife and an awesome step-daughter. Not to mention the fact that his two oldest are getting to the age where they are starting to bring boyfriends and girlfriends occasionally. Again – none of this is a problem. It’s great, and I love each and every one of them no matter how crazy and boisterous our get-togethers end up getting. The more, the merrier – right?

Then there is our daughter. In June our family expanded by one when she married the best son-in-law we could’ve possibly hoped for. He is a strong, talented, smart, mature man of God. And (very important to her daddy) treats her like a young lady ought to be treated. And now, not surprisingly, they are expecting their first child. So next year, our family will be expanded by one more – a new baby – a grandchild.

This is the point where the majority of the extra emotion comes into play I guess. Just thinking about how much my baby girl has grown up – remembering all of those Christmases past – exchanging gifts early in the morning wearing our pajamas, sipping on coffee. Whether it was those few years when it was just the two of us – daddy and daughter against the world – or later on when we were blessed enough to share those moments (and our love) with a new wife and step-mom. We had some great times – made some great memories.

And now, starting next year, we get to be part of those memories for her young family. It is an awesome responsibility – an overwhelming blessing – and a chapter in my life that I look forward to embracing.

So, Okay – we have a lot to do – a lot to accomplish between now and Saturday morning. But instead of feeling stressed about it, I consciously choose to focus on how much more we have to look forward to, both this Christmas – and all of our Christmases to come. And we are going to make sure that no one takes the “Merry” out of our Christmas!

When she shows him all of her purchases, the husband faints because – obviously – he too is an idiot.

But that isn’t even what really gets me about this ad. No, I’m used to commercials portraying us all as clueless morons – especially men. (Can anyone say “Bud Light Commercials”?)

…but to treat us as such?

Here’s my beef: When the woman shows her man all of the crap she bought and assembled while he was gone (an impressive feat for a 8-month pregnant lady, by the way) – all in sets of three – and then the husband faints… we get it. We already got the joke.

Ha ha ha… there are 3 car seats, 3 cribs… we get it!

She is having triplets.

Duh!

So why then do they feel the need to show the idiot husband on the floor saying the word, “triplets”?

Because they honestly think we are too dumb to get their stupid joke without being told the conclusion we were supposed to reach?

Really?

Happy Nigel Tufnel Day!

You know, because it “goes to ELEVEN!”

I am a little short on time this week, but I thought I would pop in this morning and share a quick Five on Friday playlist.

On the 25th of October, my wife and I – along with a small group of friends and our nephew – went to see an Avett Brothers concert. It was incredible. Their genre-defying music was great, and the amount of raw talent and energy that they exhibit at a live show is breathtaking. Yet, many of my other friends still don’t know who they are! It’s a shame really. So instead of wishing that you all knew what you were missing, I decided to give you a short, 5-song sample.

Enjoy!

x

First I was asked to paint a mural:

The couple that took ownership of the children’s ministry at our church worked very hard to renovate and refurbish the basement area where the kids meet on Sunday mornings. I thought it was awesome to see people pour themselves into a project with that much passion. Especially considering that they took all of the initiative, had very little funding (at least at first), and not a lot of help. Part of their plan was to have a handful of artists from our congregation paint a separate wall with a mural depicting some of the great Bible stories. When they approached me to paint one of them, my initial reaction was, “NO”.

Sure I was an art-club nerd back in high school, but that was more than 20 years ago! It has literally been years and years since I have done any painting at all, let alone a wall-sized mural. I did not want to invest that much time in something that I was pretty sure would not turn out all that great anyway. I really wanted to turn them down.

But I did not.

The story I chose to paint was David and Goliath, which turned out to be apropos. Often when people insert themselves into a bible story like David and Goliath, they see themselves in the David role, defeating some great giant against all odds – The only problem was that in my scenario, I was also Goliath. I had to overcome the part of my own brain that did not want to participate, and I am glad that I did. I felt a great deal of joy just in the creative process, but it also offered me the chance to fellowship with friends that I normally would not have had the opportunity to and be part of something bigger and more important than myself.

The other thing I was asked to do was to serve on a Walk to Emmaus weekend:

(If you are not familiar with the Walk to Emmaus movement, click here to learn more.) I have spent a decade saying “NO” to Lay Leaders asking me to serve in any capacity on these Walks. But for whatever reason, I agreed to do it. As the date came closer though, the more I regretted my decision. The last thing I wanted to do was sleep on a bunk in a cabin with four other guys in a campground listening to a bunch of stale talks about about faith and love. Nothing about that sounded appealing to me. But I had agreed to it, so I went.

Thank God I went.

It was a blessing to be able to serve others – especially other men who also did not want to be there the first day or two. Physically, by Sunday evening I was exhausted and wanted my bed, my couch and my wife back – but I was also strangely joyful and spiritually energized by the experience. Once again my inner David battled against the towering giant of my inner Goliath – and against all odds, little David won – and God blessed me for it.

Actually I found out later, several other potential workers HAD said no. Evidently just enough of them had turned the offer down in order to get low enough on the list for me to even be asked – and I am guessing that was pretty low. The theme for the weekend, in a nutshell, is God’s grace – and in a very real way, I experienced it!

Not to be too cliché, but that’s pretty amazing when you think about it.

I have 100 or more things to accomplish before my scheduled departure at noon today, but I have a server that is having trouble staying on for any length of time.

So far I have been able to keep it running with a complex system of duct tape, bailing wire and chewing gum. I also have to be careful to only whisper around it, so that it doesn’t freak out on me.

I had intentions of writing 2 or 3 posts this week, but life had a counter-offer that I couldn’t refuse… unfortunately.

Here is the song I think my system has been listening to this week, and taking the title a little too literally.

Raise a glass to next week being better than this one!

Two decades ago my life and popular music both changed forever – almost simultaneously.

My biggest concern at the time was that my marriage was ending. I was too young to be a divorcee, but then again, I was too young to be married and have a baby girl too. But sometimes things just are what they are, and you do the best with what you’ve got.

(This blog was originally much longer, going into much more detail about my life in 1991, but I decided this morning that it was just too personal to post on the internet. That’s also why I’m a bit later than normal getting it out there.)

But since music was and is part of my life (see previous post) – that very painful year had a soundtrack. Two of my favorite bands in the world released fantastic albums that even many critics hail as among the best in their respective catalogs. REM released by far their biggest commercial success, Out Of Time – and U2 released the incredible Achtung Baby.

But as much as those two albums mean to me personally, it was the less established bands that really made that year what it was. They came out of nowhere and injected a much needed spark into a music scene that was getting old and worn out. 1991 was the year of plaid flannel and dirty hair. It was the year that Grunge and Alternative Rock rose to power.

Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Matthew Sweet all released albums within just a few month time-frame that affected me on a very deep and visceral level – and also affected the trajectory of the music industry as a whole.

For me – it was personal. These albums exhibited the energy, emotion, and youthfulness that I needed to deal with the situations that I faced at just that moment. And for that reason, they will always be a part of who I am.

Here is just a taste of the soundtrack that was 1991: