My daughter sent me a text message yesterday asking; when the minister asks, “who gives this woman to be married to this man?” what I wanted to reply.
It is a valid question considering that the typical “her mother and I” response doesn’t really work since she has two step-parents that should be included just as much as her biological ones. And, “her mother, step-father, evil step-mother, and I” doesn’t roll off the tongue very well.
But it begs the question – Is she really ours to “give”? Or is this wedding tradition another one of those remnants still hanging on from a patriarchal society where daughters and wives were treated as property?
But suddenly, in the midst of my internal debate, it hit me. My kid – my only child – my baby girl is getting married tomorrow.
Everything just shifted from my head, to the middle of my chest.
A coworker asked me last week if I was okay with her getting married, and I responded with a light-hearted “yeah”. And I am. She is a really good kid with a good head on her shoulders. I believe with all my heart that she is making a well thought-out decision about her life. She loves her fiancé and is marrying him because she wants to spend the rest of her life with him – not because (like too many young brides today) she wants to be a princess in a fairytale or because all of her friends are getting married and she doesn’t want to be left out. No, she is smarter and more grounded than that. So, yeah, I am okay with it.
He replied, “You can say that now. But when the day comes and you see your little girl in that white dress – you’re just going to immediately become a big blubbering idiot. You know that right?”
Yeah – I know that too.
And I’m okay with it.
So while I am being sappy anyway, I will share with you a song that I did NOT choose for our father-daughter dance in an attempt to avoid that whole blubbering thing. (The song I did choose will be a topic for a later blog.)
I love you Kiddo!