All quotes attributed to Cardinals broadcasting legend Mike Shannon
Originally Posted By rockin redbird on the blog Viva El Birdos! and hopefully added to by me more in the future. Feel free to add your own in the comments section below.
By the way – I post these quotes, not to make fun of Shannon, but because I am a fan. I love listening to him broadcast games & miss the days of Jack & Mike. So with all due respect & admiration – enjoy the quotes…
“A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one.”
“This big standing room only crowd is settling into their seats.”
“It’s raining like a Chinese fire drill!”
(After Brian Jordan was hit by a pitch for the 4th time on a single road trip)”He must feel like a Ouija board.”
(About former Cardinal Bernard Gilkey) “He was originally born in University City.”
“He’s faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald!”
(Referring to Mike Schmidt) “the longtime and soon-to-be Hall of Famer.”
“He’s madder than a pig caught under a barnyard gate.”
(About a base stealer) “Sometimes when you feel the urge, you’ve just gotta go.” (6/17/98)
“This game is off to a rather conspicuous start, don’t you think, Jack?” (7/15/98)
“Well, folks, this game began as a tiny worm and is blossoming into a large cobra.” (8/12/98)
(About Hideo Nomo) “He’s the biggest thing to hit Japan since they dropped that bomb on Nagashima!”
“That foul tip bounced up and caught him right in the groins…and that’ll really clear your eyes out!”
(Broadcasting from New York under a full moon) “I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see this moon.”
(On the day before Easter) “I just want to tell everyone Happy Easter and Happy Hanukkah.” (4/98)
(After a warning track fly ball) “A couple of strips of bacon at breakfast, and he’d a busted that baby out-a-here!”
“Things are not always as they appear to be as.” (1999)
“I tell you, that same river flows the same way”.
“Well, he did everything right to get ready for the throw, but if ya ain’t got the hose, the water just won’t come out.”
“Like Spring makes the rains come, so does the edge of the plate grow.” (6/17/00)
“Our next home stand follows this road trip.” (5/20/01)
“I don’t like that play. I’ve seen it go opposite more often than positive.” (6/08/01)
(Referring to a home run by Ted Simmons) “And that’s the bread on Simmons’ butter.”
“The right-hander is throwing up in the bullpen.” (4/23/02)
“I’ve heard it said that if you know English, Spanish, Italian, and I think it’s French, you can go just about anywhere in this world…except for China where they have all those derelicts.” (5/19/02)
This year’s quote regarding the derelicts in China was followed (after a pause) by Joe Buck’s suggestion that Mike had meant to say “dialects.” Mike’s response was,”Yea, dialects! That’s what I mean. But they’ve got a lot of derelicts too!!”
During an Eli Marrero at bat, Mike Shannon makes mention that the Cardinals had a lot of Latin players on the team and that “they are a creditable people.”
“If you’re writing a thesis or something, you could finish it in a week or so if you were catching this guy.” (05-25-02)
“We’d like to say hello to all those folks listening in Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky.”
“He ran to second faster than a cat in Chinatown.”
“I wouldn’t have seen it if I hadn’t believed it.'”
Joe: “Mike, the Cardinals would like to welcome a group of 19 French foreign exchange students in section 382 today.” Mike: “Where they from Joe?” Joe: “Uhhh… France… I think.”
And Mike Shannon’s classic: “Ol’ Abner has done it again!”
A couple years back, Mike and Joe were discussing the horrible photographs of players that had been flashed on the screen at another ballpark. Mike’s take on the quality of photo selection was, “Some of those guys looked like the picture was taken while they were seeing their first UFO.” After several seconds of laughter, Joe added, “As opposed to their second or third.”
“Oooh, that last pitch inside was a bit questionable and he’d like to say something to the umpire, but he won’t say anything. At least not verbally.”
“Boy a frosty cold Budweiser would be great about now”…long pause…then an “aahhh”.
“The wind has switched 360 degrees”.
“The Dodgers are ahead by 5 runs or 3 runs or in between there somewhere.”
“It was raining so hard I thought it was going to stop.”
“…this crowd is on their feet for the Canadian Star Spangled Banner.”
“Horner’s arguing, he wants an interference call against Cangeloni. Now Cangeloni’s got something to say, but here comes Whitey to give a taste of his vocabulary, and it’ll have extra mustard on it.”
(On former Bird SS Edgar Renteria almost stopping a line drive with his teeth) “He’s just happy to have all his pearly gates.”
“If you stuck your money clip between the foul line & the baseball, you’d be on welfare.” (8-28-07)
“You know, if you can keep Geronimo Pena healthy, you can win the Pulitzer Prize in Health.”
(About what elevated Whitey Herzog as a manager) ”The key thing is, he has that photogenic mind.”
(On Jose Oquendo buying a new house) ”He’s going to make his winter home here year-round.”
(1-0 lead at Wrigley Field) ‘‘One run in this ballpark is like a grain of salt in the Sahara Desert.”
(Coleman called out on strikes) ‘‘He knew he was out when he heard that right hand go up.”
(Cards-Cubs series at Wrigley) ‘‘Even the standing-room only seats have been sold.”
(Cards-Cubs rivalry) ‘‘It doesn’t matter if they’re home or away, or vice versa.”
“Well, that’s the life of a reliever. It’s either a mountain or a valley, there’s no in-between. You either get all the glory or all the…goat hair.”
Adventures in Dullness 
Trying to sneak the fastball by (Pujols) is like trying to sneak the sunrise past the rooster.
WHERE CAN I GET SOME MIKE SHANNON WAV OR MP3 ‘S?! THANKS
I thought Phil Rizzuto was good but Mike Shannon is the master.
“That’s a cute couple down there. I bet he kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls”
Excellent compilation. Shannon is the best.
I particularly like his pronunciation of “Kuh-heel” Greene this season. :)
Will Leitch, sports writer & founding editor of Deadspin, posted a link to my blog…
Consider me sufficiently humbled.
I enjoyed listening to him butchering Jaun Encarnacion’s name on a daily basis
Years ago calling a ground ball to short, Mike said “”He went after that ball like a Mexican diving for a nickel rolling down the street in Mexico City!” I think I heard Jack fall out of his chair!
“Sinker-ball pitchers who leave the ball high in the strike zone usually end up working at General Motors.”
He was on today.
So many classics. The one that sticks in my mind (early 80’s) was right after a poor woman sung the national anthem. I think she was confused by the echoes or something but it was terrible. After a few seconds of silence, Mike said “If that isn’t a case to switch to America the Beautiful, I don’t know what is!”
Mike’s comment during an afternoon game in early 2011: “Y’know John (Rooney), I love these afternoon games…these noontime starts are great.” It was a 3:15PM start.
After talking about an upcoming promotion during a game, Mike said, “We’ve got all that information available for you. You can check it all out on Spacebook.”
That was Steve Tyler from Aerospace singing the National Anthem.
In the old days, the used to get paid every time they mentioned an AB product on the air so Shannon would always add in something. He was the absolute master at that. But it got him in trouble sometimes. I remember one, it must have been in the early 80s. There was a foul ball and it ended up knocking a drink out of a woman’s hands. Shannon without missing a beat said, “It landed right in that woman’s Busch!!!” I bet there were more than a few auto accidents on that one!
I remember another one from the 80s, probably 1988 or so. I’m pretty sure it was in a Cards-Cubs series, when the master of redundancy went into overdrive. It went something like, “Day after day, time after time, over and over again, this series is the same every single time and it always happens in the same way.” I wish I could get you the date so you could check it.
Found this site looking for info on Ol’ Abner. I’ve heard him describe it before but don’t remember.
A couple of my favorites are intentional. “Stee-rike call” and ones like “fast ball strike, right down the middle, taken for a ball.” when he disapproves of the ump’s call.
Abner is the legendary guy who created baseball. 9 innings, 9 batters… at the end of the game you often have the big guns coming up to bat, making even the 9th inning exciting. When this happens, Mike usually busts out “Ol Abner’s done it again,” referring to Abner Doubleday.
“Ol’ Abner’s done it again” is usually about the fact that, despite all the changes in strength, speed, surface, equipment, etc, ninety feet is still the exact distance to create bang bang plays at first base.
I always like how he pronounces Washington. WaRshington
and Snucks
“They are working double duty at the Tums Factory tonight!”
A couple years back the Cardinals were playing Houston and Houston player, Michael Bourne stole second base. John Rooney said, He was born to run” to which Mike Shannon replied “that’s why they named him Michael.” Rooney: silence.
Glad I found this site. Though the baseball itself, wasn’t as good as we have it now, I still miss those golden years of Jack & Mike calling Cardinal games.
One of my favorites, was during a long roadtrip, Jack was looking at the upcoming schedule and remarked that the Cardinals “would be heading to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love”. After a short pause Mike said with a chuckle, “I thought that was San Francisco”. I don’t think Jack could even talk after that one as there was some lengthy silence that followed.
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conversation during 2012 season:
John Rooney: And a foul ball into the suite level
Mike Shannon: We should have a sweet level here.
John Rooney (somewhat confused): What would they have there exactly?
Mike Shannon: All the yummy sweets, of course.
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Couple of my favorites from back in the 80’s. I believe Terry Pendleton was batting and hit a long drive to the warning track. Mike says “if he’d hit that harder it woulda gone farther.”
Willie McGee on second and the batter hits a single up the middle and all in one breath, fast as you can say it. “Here comes McGee he rounds third he stumbles he scores.” Made me wonder just how fast Willie could run.
Sometine in the late nineties or early 2000’s, ….in late june…..Mike starts off the game set up ” Hey folks, welcome to Cardinal Baseball …….on this hot, ….muggy spring day…….”…..after a long pause, and someone wispering into his ear “oh, yeah, I guess it is summer already”
About an Albert pujols walk and he takes the Annie Oakley
“if the Redbirds want to go to the World Series this club is going to have to win ballgames”.
I am not sure of the date of this quote (2012-13), but I was on my way to work after a rain delay. The game was getting started and Mike said, and not an exact quote, “The Cardinals are getting ready to host the Texas Rangers, the team from the “Long Star” state.”